Toddler stands in front of the window pane and presses its hands against the glass


Boundaries for kids

Good Parenting and a Good Relationship 

As soon as infants arrive, adults have to adopt new roles: they become parents. This is a wonderful feeling and at the same time a huge responsibility. After all, parents are not only required to give their children love, but also orientation in life, knowledge about social and cultural customs, and other "teachings". This quickly gives rise to the question: how strict must parents be? Does consistent parenting perhaps even harm the relationship? Learn more and discover our parenting tips here!

Why saying no is often so hard.

The popular opinion is: children need rules in order to orientate themselves. This gives them a clearly defined framework within which they can develop. It is important to consider how parents can communicate their requirements clearly and authentically without upsetting others.

Of course, this is not always easy, after all we never want to see our children upset. However, this often means the issue becomes even greater. If we do not clearly state what the issue is and what we really want, we will often seek excuses and hide behind explanations, before accepting (personal) responsibility. When parenting children, no clear line can be drawn in this way.

This unsettles everyone involved and ultimately leads to more frustration than simply providing an honest answer or stipulation straight away.  

Take responsibility and set an example by speaking openly.

Such back and forth creates confusion, especially among children. If parents enforce a demand one time and give in the next, children will not know what rules they should stick to and what they can be sure of.

As parents, we naturally always want only the best for our little ones. And in times of excessive consumption in particular, finances rarely force us to say no (when it comes to sweets, for example). But sometimes you may be overcome by a guilty conscience later on – it is not only you that suffers, but also those around you.

Sibling playing with baby on the floor

Discover your parenting style!

Finding a healthy balance between yes and no and establishing a clear line that cannot be crossed is a tough task. Countless books on the subject of leadership styles and an almost inconceivable array of management seminars demonstrate this in the professional environment.

But being a parent and an educator is not mutually exclusive: you guide your children through life and teach them by example. Not every parent finds this easy at first – but as the saying goes: you rise to the challenge!

Tips on how to establish clear rules and your own parenting boundaries:

  • Find out what you value yourself, what you want, and what you don't want. 
  • Once you identify your requirements, formulate your expectations clearly towards your child (and your partner). 
  • Your tone makes the difference: your little one can accept a "no" if it is communicated in a clear and affectionate way.

We are finding our own way – the communication of a new generation.

Whereas in the past a clear line was drawn between adults and children, fortunately today a different attitude prevails. We place importance on communicating "eye to eye". But of course, this does not mean that children are in charge and their every wish is immediately granted.  
Ultimately, it will strengthen your relationship with yourself and with your child if you are honest with each other. And saying no is also part of this – even if this is not initially easy for a two-year-old to understand, in their first steps towards autonomy.

Photos: Unsplash; Shutterstock

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